Catching Fireflies

finding magic along the way

Learning Focus, or how to lose your worries one block at a time

My baby arrived today…

No, no, no… not that kind of baby! 🙂

My new baby!

This ia a Juki long arm (though technically it is more mid-arm length) quilting machine. I have no clue how to free motion quilt, but I want to learn so that I won’t have to send my quilts out to be long-arm quilted at quilt shops. [For all the non-quilters out there, this is when I send the quilt top, batting and backing fabric out and a professional uses a giant machine and frame to sew the “sandwich” together.] Let’s just add that to the list of things I am wanting to do this year. In my spare time… 🙂

Hand-pieced and designed by me!

Hand-pieced and designed by me!

See, I love quilting. I find it relaxing to take yards of fabric, cut it up in tiny pieces and sew it back together again, especially when I can piece it by hand! Crazy, maybe. But the marriage of math and art that you get when you piece a quilt somehow manages to stimulate both the thinker in me and the artist.

My first quilt -- all by hand

My first quilt — all by hand

Colby Jackson helping me lay the quilt out. Handpieced by me!

Colby Jackson helping me lay the quilt out. Handpieced by me!

I also find that focusing on joining two little pieces of fabric instead of worrying about the entire project, relaxes me in a way that I have not seemed to apply to the rest of my life. I tend to be a worrier. I carry a lot of worry and stress along with me during the day.

My day job is one where just about everything lands on my desk and there is no one there to help. The ringing phone – me; the 90 emails – mine; payroll – me; schedules – me; HR – me; contracts – me; therapist to everyone else having a bad day – me. I am good at my job, but tend to take everything very much to heart. Any little oversight or mistake, and I will beat myself to a pulp for days.

 I also worry about all the people at my job – their kids are sick, they are working crazy hours, doctor 1 is not getting along with doctor 2 – I worry. I try to listen and help and send positive energy out into the universe for them. 

Family? Same thing. I worry. I want people I love to be happy and healthy and love their life. 

Then we have the writing life, the creative life, the areas of life that feed my soul and always tend to land on the back burner while I am busy worrying about everyone else. Somewhere along the way though, I tend to lose myself. Self care falls by the wayside and I never stop to really think about whether or not anyone is worried about me. 

Maybe 2013 is not so much about my typical resolutions like I will get my book published; I will find an agent; I will lose weight and get in shape and eat healthy foods and keep a journal and finish all my unfinished projects and maybe squeeze in some time to sleep… 

Maybe 2013 needs to focus more on self-care and learning to focus on the little pieces one at a time instead of worrying about the whole thing all at once. I am thinking that things may actually fall into place all by themselves, without me having to worry about them so much. People will work out their differences and their own issues; the daily work will get done. 

And maybe by not worrying about everyone and everything, I will find the energy and focus to work on my own little pieces – my writing, my book, my quilts, my life.  I think this will be my one goal this year. And I hope to find the inner peace that comes from letting go of that stress and worry.

4 Comments

  1. phoenixrisesagain

    Hi there, I have been watching loads of angelic help videos on youtube and was reading up on spiritual things and one sentence kept coming up but it was hard for me to accept its importance: “You are only responsible for your own happiness!”
    It sound egotistic and totally wrong but thing is: It works!
    If you stop worrying about all the others it somehow gives them the freedom to sort their things out themselves which in turn gives you the chance to take care of yourself. And that is the greatest love to use Whitney Houstons words. (Well not that she really worked it out in the end though 😦 )
    Well my advice: Allow yourself to trust that things work out well and do those that are good for you. I am still working on it but bit by bit we will get better 🙂

    • Thanks for the kind words!! I don’t remember when I started carrying around everyone else’s stress and worry as my own, but I am learning to just set it down. Yes, you can say a prayer for them, send positive thoughts and virtual hugs and just be a shoulder to cry on if they need it, but fixing it, is generally out of our control. I need to focus on fixing me for a bit! 🙂

      • phoenixrisesagain

        I think that is a very good New Years resolution ~ will light a candle for you!

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