You are here. Again.
I must have seasonal effective disorder, but instead of hitting me in the winter months, it strikes in the middle of the summer. Last year, around this time, I had a case of it. And it is here again…
My disorder affects my writing and creative endeavors. While I am going all out with new opportunities related to my real-world jobs, my writing is floundering. No, wait. Strike that. Floundering implies that there is still some life in it.
[pokes it with a stick] Nope, nothing.
So what’s a girl to do when the muse is MIA? Let me give it some thought and I will get back to you.
You Are Here.
Lately, I have been feeling that life has derailed my writing.
I am making progress toward many of my life goals but the writing just doesn’t seem to be there. I can say I am busy, but by now most of you know how I feel about that excuse. I know deep down that we are all busy and we make room in our lives for what matters to us.
So am I to think that writing no longer matters to me? Have I achieved my dreams and reached my goals? I think not.
I think it comes down to being tired. Let’s face it. Each of us has only so much energy to devote to each day, and sometimes the 9 to 5, or 6 or 7, just wears us out. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we are just too darn tired to pick up a pen. We arrive at the end of our work day thinking, phew, now I can paint or write or dream, and we find that the only thing we manage to do is nap.
Recently, I came across an article in HuffPost that spoke to me of this very issue. It says in no uncertain terms that sometimes the time is just not right for our creative lives. Sometimes we have to pay the bills and clean the house. And we need to allow for that and forgive ourselves.
That is the key piece that I tend to forget. I get so worked up in not spending enough time and energy on my writing. I get stuck in ruts where I don’t do anything creative for weeks or months at a time – no crocheting, no quilting, no writing. And I feel used up and exhausted and uninspired.
And that is okay.
I need to forgive myself for these lulls and let them pass without judgement. I need to stop bashing myself mentally for wasting time. We cannot solve these lulls by checking off a list of how-to-woo-the-muse or how-to-create-a-masterpiece-in-72-hours. They pass when they pass.
“Things are dark until they’re not.” I love that. We are always so busy trying to force our lives to be what we think they should be that we forget that they are what they are. This is your life. Wherever you are in the process of creating your dream. You are here.